I really can’t wait to look at my Google analytics after this post is published. There will be so many bounces from people who were looking for a very specific type of content. For the rest of you, welcome to a blog post about taking care of your butt. Having a soft, smooth butt has been an obsession of mine since high school when my mom bought me my first butt product, which I will talk about on the list below. So, let’s get into it, my top 5 favorite things to care for my butt, in no particular order.

1. Paula’s Choice 2% BHA Lotion

If you aren’t familiar with BHA than you’ve probably never suffered from a condition referred to as “chicken skin,” and if that’s the case, lucky you. For the rest of us, we occasionally get hard, bumpy skin on our arms, legs, and yep… butt and the best thing for it is BHA. Also known as salicylic acid, BHA gently exfoliates built-up layers of dead skin which can cause those hard bumps. Even if you don’t get chicken skin, BHA is a nice gentle exfoliator for your whole body and and easy, nice-smelling way to apply it is this lotion. One bottle usually lasts me a few months and it’s my go-to for keeping my skin (yes, on my butt) soft and smooth.

Paula’s Choice Weightless Body Treatment 2% BHA 7oz, $28 (Also available in travel size for $7)

2. Lush Buffy Body Butter

I’ve been using this product for more than 20 years, dating back to my mom buying it for me because it was called Buffy the Backside Slayer at the time. This cocoa and shea butter bar is packed with ground rice, almonds and aduki beans… but you don’t eat it, you rub it on your butt. You use it in the shower on wet skin – rub it on, rinse it off, and the moisturizers stay behind on your behind.

Buffy 3.3oz, $12.95 from Lush

3. Pacifica Acne Warrior Body Scrub

By now I have possibly painted an unfair picture of my poor butt. From the sounds of it, it’s dry, bumpy, and filled with acne. This is not the case. In fact, my butt feels like a ripe peach, which I credit to all of these things I am always rubbing and scrubbing onto it. My latest addition to this routine is a scrubby acne body wash that comes in a cute little purple tub. I use it on my back and butt in the shower to help kill acne-causing bacteria.

Pacifica Acne Warrior Body Scrub 6oz, $16 . You can save 10% off your first purchase of $36 or more with this link, plus sign up for Rakuten to earn cash back when you buy from Pacifica.

4. Til You Collapse Leggings

Surprise! It’s not a lotion or scrub… it’s pants! I really dedicated myself in 2020 to trying to move my body every day and with that came a significant investment in leggings. I tried all the usual mall brands and never found a good combination of high waist, proper length (I’m v. short), soft fabric, and colors/prints that didn’t make me feel like a professional wrestler from the 80s (not that there’s anything wrong with that). Until I bought my first pair of Til You Collapse Effortless Vortex Classic Leggings. I know that’s a lot of words, but that’s because you can shop these leggings by style, fabric, and length.

I’m obsessed with these leggings for working out and wearing out. They’re totally opaque (no one can see my leopard print undies), super soft, have just the right amount of compression, and they’re totally squat proof. They don’t roll, slide, or bunch.

Til You Collapse Leggings – Prices Vary

5. Peace Out Acne Patches

On the rare occasion that all of my fail safes against butt pimples… fail, these patches solve that problem every single time. Honestly, I use these on my face way, way more often than any other part of my body but I do like them for body acne because they keep the area clean while they hydrate and treat breakouts. Pretty much exactly what you need when a spot pops up in a place that’s hard to reach. I buy them in a 40 pack now because Tony and Teno use them too.

Peace Out Acne Patches 20 ct, $29.95

Heads up that some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means if you click and make a purchase I will earn store credit or a laughably small amount of cash.