Are you looking for a breakfast bar fit for the sons of Odin? Well look no further, my brothers and sisters of metal, for I have clashed swords with our enemies fat and cholesterol and emerged victorious, with a heart of steel cut oats. This healthy, hearty not-a-muffin is packed with whole wheat, steel cut oats, fresh fruit and the sign of the hammer.

You can swap things in and out of these bars as you see fit. I used blueberries, you can use whatever berries, cherries or whatnot you like. I used cinnamon, you might want to throw in some cardamom and clove for a chai-inspired bar. You can also top these, as I did, with a quick brown sugar crumb or with your favorite crunchy granola. See the end of the recipe for info. Oh, and if you prefer dairy, you can use buttermilk in place for the soymilk + apple cider vinegar, butter in place of Earth Balance and/or an egg in place of the 1/2 banana.

You will need:

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/2 cup whole wheat flour
  • 1/2 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 1/4 cup brown sugar
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 4 tbsp cold Earth Balance spread, cut into 1/2 inch pieces
  • 1 cup fresh blueberries
  • zest of 1 organic lemon
  • 1 cup steel-cut oats, cooked & cooled slightly*
  • 1 /2 banana, smashed
  • 1/2 Tbs apple cider vinegar + 1/2 cup soy milk

*The process of cooking & cooling will take about 40 minutes, so make sure you do it ahead of time! Don’t cook these a day ahead and storing in the fridge as steel cut oats turn into wallpaper glue overnight.

Then you:

Pre-heat your oven to 350 and grease a muffin pan. Mix the apple cider vinegar and soy milk in a small measuring cup and set aside to curdle.

Whisk the flours, cinnamon, brown sugar and salt together in a medium bowl. Cut in the Earth Balance until the mixture resembles course sand – pebbles, if you will. Toss in the blueberries and lemon zest just to coat them with flour. Mix in the cooked oats with a wooden spoon until incorporated.

Mix mashed banana and soy milk mixture in a separate bowl, then stir together with the flour mixture. This will likely resemble bread dough more than muffin batter – that’s good, because these are not-a-muffins, remember? Spoon batter evenly into each cup. Like our fallen enemies, these don’t rise. So go ahead the fill the cups to the brim.

You’ll probably want to these with something crunchy or sweet because the bars are intense and oaty. I did a quick brown sugar crumb – 1/2 cup flour, 3 Tbs brown sugar, 1/2 tsp cinnamon swirled together with a drizzle of canola oil until large crumbs form. You could also use your favorite granola. Top each unbaked oat bar with whatever you’re topping them with and press down lightly.

Bake for 20-25 minutes, until you can insert a toothpick and it comes out clean. Don’t over bake these or you might as well chuck them off the Bridge of Death.

Once they cooled for a few minutes I popped them out of the pan and fit each one into a cupcake liner. Store in the fridge and grab whenever you need a quick breakfast or a healthy snack.

I recommend eating while listening to this:

Hail and kill!