“Baby, I know what you crave… you want to poop your pants all day long, well baby, behave!”

If you aren’t currently singing along in auto-tune voice, you might as well stop reading because this cupcake recipe is 100% dedicated to the greatest TV show of all time, Adventure Time. Heck yeah! In honor of the show my husband believes was  stolen directly from my damaged brain I give you Purple Whatevers. One part grape drink, one part cupcake, one part shmowzow and one part horrible at fractions.

Admittedly, these turned out kind of… not edible. I was really wishing Tree Trunks were around to whip me up a Crystal Apple Pie once I had a taste. Let’s put it this way, they were grape drink in cupcake form. So if you’re the kind of person who hears that and thinks, “Algebraic!” then you win, here’s a recipe for you. But if you hear that and you’re all like, “I can’t have you messin’ up my bread and butter, dude,” then stay away because Purple Whatevers will scare the jelly out of your donut.

But no matter what flavor cupcake makes you cry when you poop (thanks for being cool, guys) I made you these Adventure Time cupcake toppers with images I found on the official Cartoon Network site. (And while I was at it, I made a pretty sexy Mr. Cupcake that my friend Lisa has already married and taken home with her. Ladies are twisty, man.)

If Purple Whatevers aren’t your thing (or perhaps if they are completely your thing,) you should check out the Lumpy Space Princess cake pops Amanda made over on the Bake It Pretty blog. I lumpin’ love that girl.

To make Purple Whatevers you’ll need:

  • 3/4 cup + 2 Tbs cake flour
  • 1/2 cup + 2 Tbs all-purpose flour
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1/2 Tbs baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp salt
  • 1/2 package grape Kool Aid
  • 1/2 cup margarine
  • your fave replacer for 2 eggs
  • 1/2 cup non-dairy milk
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla

Plus, one batch of cream cheese frosting, and the remaining 1/2 package of grape Kool Aid.

Then you:

Preheat your oven to 325 and line your cupcake pan with paper liners. In the bowl of an electric mixer combine the flours, sugar, baking powder, salt and Kool Aid. Mix on low. Add the margarine, mixing just until coated with flour. In a large measuring cup with a spout, whisk together the prepared egg replacer, non-dairy milk and vanilla. Add to the dry ingredients, 1/3 at a time, mixing just until blended. Fill cups 2/3 full and bake 17-20 minutes or until tops spring back when lightly touched. Cool on a wire rack for 10 minutes, then remove from pan and cool completely.

Top with cream cheese frosting, mixed with remaining 1/2 of Kool Aid.

I hope when you try these you’ll feel radder, faster… more adequate! Now lump off.