I have done a lot of difficult things in my day – stayed vegan for 5 years despite working in a delicious Italian bakery, gained and lost 70 lbs in an 18-month period, sat through Dracula 2000 without stabbing my own eyes out – but I don’t think I had as tough of a time doing any of those things as I had putting together this apron showcase**. Between the problems of finding too many amazing aprons for one little post, not finding anything I deemed cool in certain categories I hoped to write about, and the Etsy shops I was choosing running out of stock on the things I wanted to post before I posted about them, this post has been a real son-of-a-bitch from start to finish. And I shudder to think that I’m going to have to do another one because I missed a lot in this one and the same sellers I’m covering today are going to come out with even more stuff in the future. Not to mention all of the great apron ideas that will spawn from this post.
So let’s begin at the beginning. I’m not posting in any particular order, just the order in which I have things organized in my Flickr account. Please enjoy my selection of aprons I would be proud to wear or to give to people I like. Comments with links to additional aprons you love are welcome. Please refrain from posting about any ginormous apron companies I’ve repped in the past. This was a hunt for new blood.
First up is this apron which, if it had a back, could totally double as a cute summer dress. It’s called The Argyle Effect and it’s made by Cupcake Provocateur. Named for one of the seamstress’ favorite bands, I choose this apron for the showcase because argyle is a totally neglected pattern in the apron world. Polka dots? Sure. Plaid? Yes. But argyle? You just don’t see enough argyle aprons. Especially not any as beautifully constructed from a vintage pattern as this one. For $32.99 you have something you’ll be proud to wear for years to come – and thanks to a generous store coupon from Cupcake Provocateur made just for Bake and Destroy readers, you can save 10% just for being my friend on the Internets. Just enter BAKECP10 at checkout. Thank you, you’re welcome.
My mom (pictured here) is a big fan of aprons from Funktion, which I believe she discovered via Vintage June. Kinda hippy, kinda gypsy, kinda expensive… just like my mom! These aprons (and their other goods) have been featured basically in every magazine I read (um, and some I don’t… Everyday with Rachel Ray, for example.) According to my mom, these ruffly, layery, decidedly not “retro housewife” aprons are just as fun to wear while cooking and baking as they are to where whilst twirling around and entertaining your pugs. The fabric quality and construction answered any questions I had about the price tag, and the fact that they took a totally unique approach to aprons earned them a spot on the Deathmatch.
As a former waitress, I couldn’t do an apron post without a nod to the diner apron. I waited tables at a dump called Earwax Cafe, and sadly, never got to wear an adorable diner apron. Instead I stuck my notepad in the back pocket of my Dickies and spent more time ignoring the advances of aging hipsters and the occasional down-on-his-luck tattoo artist than I did snapping my gum and calling people “hon.” But enough about me, let’s talk about this cute cuteness from Modern June. Even if you’re not slanging hash to road-weary truckers, you need this apron. Use it to hold your paint brushes, your sewing stuff, even your cash at Renegade Craft Fair. It’s $24.99 and the seamstress is sweet as pie – I know, I’m a customer!
And now to go from one version of “sweet” to another – this I Love Lollypops apron from Living Thread is about as sugary and sweet as it gets. Dont’ be fooled by the pink and the ruffles, the seamstress behind this apron is just as sick and twisted as all of you are. Her other items include sweary dish towels, mustache coffee cup holders and zombie Christmas decorations. Her aprons are one-of-a-kind and they sell fast (especially when we feature them on All Things Cupcake,) so if you see one you like you better get it before some other bitch snatches it up. This one’s $35.00 and it ships from Australia- so there’s a chance someone who handles your package along the way has stared down a water buffalo or killed a crocodile with his or her bare hands.
To be honest, you could do a whole post on the aprons from Boojiboo – there are so many styles and so many fabrics just picking one was a group effort. (Thanks Hollie, Jenn, Leigh, and Jessica!) I love the fabrics she chooses- from the pin up-style polka dots and tattoo flash to the subdued birds and pears. I also love that she makes plus-size aprons and aprons for kids. An apron like the one shown here is under $30 and comes in a zillion different colors and patterns. And if that’s her vintage stove in the photos I totally hate her.
I have mixed emotions about half aprons, but my emotions are very clear that they love this red and white half apron from Momo’s Retro Fashions. I love the way half aprons look, but I get too much confectioner’s sugar on my boobs to find them practical. I suppose if I had the sort of friends who came over to have some wine and fondue once a month I could wear it while entertaining. But I have the kind of friends who come over to order pizza from Lou Malnati’s and watch UFC pay-per-views. They’re lucky I put pants on to entertain them. This style is called Over the Moon Everyday Housewife and it’ll run you $28.00.
In other half apron news, I adore this one from Red Velvet Art. Back when the Apron Deathmatch what but a glimmer in my eye I caught this one in their Flickr stream and bookmarked it for a rainy day. I truly believe in my heart that pom-poms are the new ric-rac and if you take a look at the ladies behind this shop I believe their fashionability and my general bossiness will make you a believer too. It’s $32, handmade, and the color combo is unlike anything I’ve seen in Apron Land.
Dear ric-rac, I know what I said back there, baby, and see- you took it the wrong way. Sure, pom-poms are the future of apron fashions, but you’re a classic, girl. You’re the best and you know it. No fluffy little ball could ever take your place. Now tie yourself around my neck and hush your mouth. You know you’re the one for me.
Oh- and also, this stripey cupcake apron, or Cupcapron, from Glue and Glitter is eternally cute for $25. She makes all different flavors and is happy to put together a custom combo just for you.
Ok break time. I had the HARDEST time finding aprons for kids and men. Why? Well, too many aprons for kids were “Mommy’s Little This” or “Lil That.” Bleh! Who is dressing their children like this? Teno loves to bake with me! He is not my “lil mess-maker” he just like to sift the god damn flour. Must I humiliate him with a retarded apron? On the same note, not all men deserve an apron proclaiming their love of BBQ, beer or other stereotypes. Camo and flames do not a man’s apron make, in my opinion – and to be honest, I’m still looking for a Tony-approved apron. According to him, he would wear something solid-colored, butcher apron-style, preferably in grey or orange rip-stop with loops to hold grilling tools. Or, he would wer camo but only in rip-stop with orange accents. Well, until Diamond or Anti-Hero makes an apron I’m afraid Tony will go without. And now, back to the show!
I had a much easier time finding aprons I would actually buy for my niece than I did finding any I would buy for Teno. I decided to post about the aprons I found by Gagie Pagie Pudding Pie because they’re simple and lovely and the photography was great. (Seriously, I know my photography skills are for crap, but I’m a million times more likely to buy something from a person who ironed it and shot a nice photo of it first.) There are dozens and dozens of adorable aprons in this shop, for mom and the little one alike and each one is made from the seller’s original patterns. This one in particular is called Cupcake See Jane Play and it’s $18.50.
Tony likes zombies, but not so much cannibals – whereas, despite my constant chatter and zombie blog, I actually am much more fascinated by cannibals than I am with the living dead. For one thing, cannibals are real. And for another… you don’t need another reason when the first reason is that there are people who eat other people. One of the most famous cannibals of our time, of course, is old Jeff here. A fellow Midwesterner and well, I hope that’s where the similarities end. I don’t think I could get Tony to wear this apron, but he did say “that’s awesome” when I showed it to him. You can get the apron from Satan’s Side Show for $19.69, along with lots of other things that will make people not want to come to your house anymore.
Ok, so boys. I know there are a lot of people who think it’s weird to put an apron on a little boy. But perhaps those people should Google such names as Claude Escamilla and Sebastien Canonne. These are men who wear aprons, and they f’n rule. (Sebastien Canonne is way, way cute. I interviewed him last year and I’m pretty sure he hated me because he’s a famous French pastry chef and I have corn tattooed on my finger, but either way, he looks good in an apron.) I suppose to be fair pastry chefs tend to wear chef’s jackets, and bakers tend to wear aprons – but I have a hard enough time getting Teno’s coat on in the winter, I’m not going to try and shove him into a jacket every time we make cupcakes. I scoured the Internet and I didn’t find one single apron (that I haven’t already posted about) that I liked for Teno. Teno doesn’t like stupid baseball and he’s not “gone fishin’.” But I did find an alternative- lots and lots of free patterns online with which I can make my own apron for Teno. And by that, of course, I mean – with which his grandma Jo can make him an apron!
I also found loads of cute, non-embarrassing fabric at Crafty Planet which I will purchase because Jo will crap herself when she sees the prices. But you know what? Someday when he’s a famous chef he’ll tell people that his mother spared no expense for his aprons as a child and the world will be like, “dang, you have an awesome mom,” and he’ll be like, “yeah, dude.”
And now, my friends I must leave you because I think this is all the apron anyone can handle at one time, and also because my butt is asleep. You can find loads of patterns that will make you want to buy a sewing machine even though you have no where to put it and you know damn well you aren’t going to sew anything in Nathalie Mornu’s book A is for Apron, and lots more apron porn at Tie One On. Um, not actual apron porn, although I’m sure it’s out there somewhere.
Please comment about your favorite aprons and send me your submissions for Round Two at CisForCupcake@gmail.com!
** Lots of people have asked me if they should be voting on their favorites. Feel free, but there’s no need. But I do have an incentive for you to comment about your favorite apron either in this post or elsewhere in the world – or even just about what you’re looking for in an apron. I’ll pick one random comment and award the author with a brand-new apron from one of the makers featured in this post. Yeah, I’m good like that. This give-away has ended! Thanks for playing!
Great post, these aprons are so unique. The one with pom-pom trim is my favorite.
awesome aprons, dude. i too love half-aprons but am too much of a klutz to find them practical – i wipe my hands on my boobs constantly while baking.
i also have the problem of finding an awesome apron for Bea that doesn’t make me want to puke, so she currently wears a christmas themed swedish apron from IKEA purely because its the right size for her and i’m tired of cocoa stains in her expensive yuppie toddler wear. the only cool ones I’ve found for kids are these retro fabric cowboy/cherry print ones, but they have a huge ugly brand logo on the front and are way too expensive and are coated in vinyl, and as far as wiping goes that rules, but as far as wearing a piece of stiff plastic goes, it sucks and i wouldn’t wear it, so i’m not gonna make her do it.
Excellent post! My favorite is the Jeffrey Dahmer one of course. But for seconds, I like the very first one. Argyle rules. And a little fyi- that little picture of robot fabric is the EXACT fabric my purse is made out of!
I love my Boojiboo apron! I fell in love with an adorable red and white polka dot one but it sold before I could get the money for it. Luckily, all I had to do was send her a private message and she made one just for me! Now my boobs stay powdered sugar- and flour-free (also my biggest problem) and I match my Kitchenaid/tea kettle/spatulas/etc.
Love them all but the Boojiboo is the dopest! I’m always afraid to wear one of these cute aprons because when I bake/decorate cakes because I am outta control with the mess. I may have to buy one anyway. Great post!
Wow! These are amazing! The cucapron is so freakin cute!! I’m with the other two in needing a boob shield!! Now I have to decide which to buy!! Thanks for your hardwork, it’s awesome!!
i love that robot fabric!
I now do not feel bad about the fact that I have spent all of my big-girl life being: too busy to make my own apron/unwilling to pay for something I could make if I would just bother to do so/unwilling to dig into my fabric stash for a utility project and have, in fact, been running around in my pointed white diner apron for the last umpteen years.
I now know that the fates have been preparing me for this day – for the day when I would be shown the light – in the form of a tax refund and an argyle apron.
I am totally buying black pumps and pearls to go with that bitchin’ apron.
Huzzah!
You’re the cutest!
Um, that Dahmer one is kind of awesome. Also, I like the idea of creeping people out when they come over for a BBQ (although most of my friends would probably just laugh at it). I want a Tarman apron. Can those please exist?
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the one from Boojiboo! The fabrics are beautiful and so is the apron itself. I also LOVE the fact that she’s thinking about the plus-sized girls like myself. I want to look foxy too! <3
great post, little girl! yes, i so love my funktion apron, almost as much as i love the way you described me. thank you!
here is a market you may not have considered for the half apron: the elementary teacher. we are always retracing our steps for that marker, page of stickers, kleenex for our children who are not familiar with tissue usage, etc. i made one for myself from the A is for Apron book, but it’s squared off at the bottom, and well, i’m not squared off at the bottom, so…
i want one more like the one from modern june. and what an expensive, hippy/gypsy second grade teacher wants, she will eventually get!
mama love you!
I love the yellow birdies! These are all so much cuter than my stolen from my old shit job at giant coffee corporation apron.
Wait! Stop the presses!! You were 70 pounds heavier at some point? Really? How did you dump it?
Apron: Argyle baby, all the way. Love that pattern and the colors.
Shit. There’s too much cute here.
I like the Boojiboo one so so so much & she has so many awesome aprons on her Etsy.
LOVE Living Thread everything & Modern June.. wait, I think I like them all.
Oh, & you worked at Earwax?!?!
Well, I think I will be shopping with Boojiboo ’cause I can get a matched set for me and the little one. But my favorite apron in the deathmatch here? argyle, hands down. That thing is 100% made of I WANT IT.
ZOMG i simply adore the Glue and Glitter apron. But then again .. I could totally gobble up everything on this – even Chef Jeff, as my zombie loving bf (named Jeff, btw) would totally approve. WANT
Man, these aprons are cute! I’ll definitely have to check out the plus-size ones. Most don’t adequately cover my boobs, and then, well, what’s the point?
I’m a sucker for argyle, so Cupcake Provocateur’s is my favorite. =)
great post!! It was hard to pick, but im loving the Boojiboo one the most!
Im not a fan of the diner aprons too much b/c im a really messy baker!! although they are super cute….
We pretty much stalk the same apron-makers. I am doing a giveaway with Boojiboo right now on my blog! They are my FAVORITE apron company, but there are hundreds more that I love, like Sassy Apron and Flirty Aprons (a local for me). I do love the diner apron though; if I ever become a waitress I am buying one.
I really love all of them, but I need a full apron when I cook. The Argyle and the loliypop I like the best. My mother gave me an apron from Boojiboo for Christmas but the seam on the waistband came undone when I washed it but they are cute if you just wear them for show. Great Post!
Full aprons are a necessity! Half aprons do not cover enough area. What kind of fun is cooking if you aren’t making some sort of mess?
I love the argyle Cupcake Provocateur and the Boojiboo. Both are retro styles of aprons with a modern twist.
I love this post, there are so many cute choices! I seriously want all of them! But I have to say that I am loving the argyle effect one, since I have a huge soft spot for argyle!
Posts like this make me wish that I had a sewing machine and knew how to use it. Hahaha. I adore them all but the Cupcake Provocateur and Momo aprons, I absolutely LUFF!
Oh goodness. I sure would love to win one of those aprons. 🙂
The first argyle one is SO cute!
I think I like Funktion the best- though they are a bit “bright” for my usual taste. 😉
Boojiboo aprons asked me for your email address so they could take care of your waistband. How’s that for customer service?
Yep! I put on about 65 with Teno. Lost 20 as soon as he was born, then about another 30 over the next few months. The last few were harder to shed, but I finally just switched to low-fat foods (as opposed to non-fat, which your body has no idea what to do with) and pilates an off they came!
i ordered a madison apron (the pears and apples pattern) from boojiboo to wear at school.
i so did not need to do this now, but i’m excited anyway!
my email is kellsbells19@yahoo.com….I had my mom fix it but that was really nice of them!
Argyle all the way!!
It even matches my character’s dress in Animal Crossing 🙂
Keep up the awesome work, you are an inspiration!! I feel like noone our age bakes these days…
Ohh man. This is some serious business. I am soo impressed by how amazing this post turned out. I love half aprons, but LivingThread’s Lollipop apron is too sweet for words. But argyle? It would look pretty damn cool no matter what I was wearing with it! The choices the choices..
I think my favorite would have to be The Argyle Effect, although the one from Funktion really caught my eye with all the ruffles and different patterns. I LOVE the one from Boojiboo with the pears and birds. That’s how most of the aprons I have look like.
I love both full and half aprons, I really only use half ones for when I’m cleaning around the house. They just don’t do the job during baking and cooking. I mean who DOESN’T get food all over their chest when they’re cooking?
I’ll have my little brother cook with me all the time, he’s six years old. I just have him put on half aprons, tied up high, so theyre under his armpits. We have to twist it in the back too, before we bring it back in the front to tie it because it’s just a wie bit too big still!
Now I seriously want that book just for the very same reasons you stated, “You can find loads of patterns that will make you want to buy a sewing machine even though you have no where to put it and you know damn well you aren’t going to sew anything”. How adorable is that half apron from Momo’s??? Love the blog!
I could never pick a favorite. I, literally, like them all for different reasons. Okay I LOVE them all. Wish I could sew!!
wow you have worked your ass off compiling all these amazing aprons just for your readers to get an apron education. I have to say for me its a tie between the Boojiboo and that amazing Argyle one by Cupcake Provocateur. Argyle needs to make a comback!
And I’m glad to hear I’m not the only one who gets icing sugar on my boobs when I wear half aprons, although I do still rock them since I mainly own cutesy 50s half aprons haha
I loved this article! you have a geat way with words. I have to go with the Argyle, it’s terrific and if I ever had an apron I would want it to look like that! 🙂 thanks for visiting my post on the history of aprons. have a geat day. I look ofrward to more fab posts from you.