…is Dr. Jennifer Kovach with her Vanilla Pepsi Punkcakes! Congratulations to you, Jenn! You’ve won, as promised, the one-of-a-kind autographed Bake and Destroy photo book, a set of classic wrestling-themed cupcake toppers and whatever other fun things I decide to mail you!

Now, before you all start booing and throwing your popcorn at me, I remind you that CM Punk himself judged this little bake-off. In fact, I have a statement from him about how he chose the winner:

Jenn wins!
It was tough…but I knew all along really. Its totally no fair but that’s life right? Jenn wasn’t the only one who capitalized on the fact that she knew who was judging the SugarSlam, but she did it the best. Sneaky. In a nut shell, Jenn is a heel.
Us born heels stick together. She somehow knew my hatred of frosting and used it against all of you. No faaaaair! But I love it. Fight dirty Dr. Jenn, fight dirty! As for the rest….man. Awesome stuff from everybody honestly. It would’ve been a different ballgame if I got to taste the entries. Maybe next time? Honorable mentions go out to the Flair cupcakes and Hitman cookies. Such rad creativity. Oh! And Bad News brownies……Jesus is that awesome.
Now, I must get back to not sleeping, working out too much and being champion of the world…
–Punk

And now for the winning recipe, as written by the SugarSlam champ:

• 2 cans of pepsi – reduced to one
• 1 1/4 cup flour
• 2 tbsp corn starch
• 3/4 tsp baking powder
• 1/2 tsp baking soda
• 1/3 cup oil
• 1 tsp vanilla
• 1/4 cup sugar

For the glaze… I was a slacker and didn’t measure anything. I put some powdered sugar in a bowl and added soy milk until it was thick and glazy. And I added some royal blue color color and a touch of vanilla.

Glob some glaze on. Add one championship belt.
Done.

In your face, directions! Who needs measuring and instructions anyway? How do you reduce two cans of Pepsi? Who fuckin’ knows? Either way she won and you didn’t!

I’ll also be mailing a little something out to the honorable mentions in Punk’s statement, but seriously- thank you to everyone who entered, this was so fun!

In totally unrelated news, I made Obama cupcake toppers tonight because I hate, hate, hate John McCain so here they are. Download the .pdf, print them on cardstock and campaign away! I also made some condom toppers I’ll be selling on Etsy, all proceeds will go to Planned Parenthood, which is in serious danger should Mumm-Ra the Ever-Living get elected.

Obama cupcake toppers!